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You may be just beginning your divorce case or you may be in the middle.  Regardless of your current position, there are certain tips that will make this painful process much smoother in the grand scheme of things.  In fact, if you would follow these ten easy tips, you would be worlds ahead of other people going through divorces.

  1. Stress management.  There are a couple of ways our clients are able to work through the stress that occurs with a divorce; here are a couple of my recommendations: Research and find a counselor with whom you are comfortable.  I know, I know—most people hate the word “counseling” and feel as though it would not help them. But, so many of our clients attend counseling and I am amazed at the way they are able to process as we go through the divorce.  It does not matter if it is a pastor, licensed counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist, or a free clinic; you just need to talk to someone.  The emotional toll of the divorce can be so taxing and many people need help with coping; this includes you.  OR if you are not ready to take the counseling step, get out and exercise.  Or even better, you can do both.  Go for a walk with a friend, join a gym, or attend a fitness class that interests you.  Start a fitness routine and it will give you something to look forward to.  And remember what Elle Woods says, “Exercise gives you endorphins.  Endorphins make you happy.  Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t.”
  2. Keep off of social media.  I cannot stress enough—do not post anything on any social media account about your soon to be ex, their paramour, the children, the case, etc.   While it may feel good at the time, it will only hurt you in the long run.  All judges frown upon it and it will make the case harder than it already is.
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Are you married and your wife has been unfaithful and now she is pregnant?  Did your ex-girlfriend call you and tell you that she had a child and it is yours?  If you are not sure that you are the father, you absolutely need an attorney.

How this issue can arise and what the law says:

If you are filing for divorce for a series of reasons, namely the adultery and resulting pregnancy, you want to be sure that you are not adjudicated the father of this child.  Reason being, in Texas all children born during the marriage are assumed to be products of the marriage and therefore, you are the presumed father.  So, you will need to make sure that if you have any doubts that you plead for a paternity test.  If it comes back negative and you are not the father, you will want to ensure that you are not ordered to be the father of this child.  Many men fall into the trap of not being the father, but the order states otherwise and therefore they are on the hook for child support for a child that is not biologically theirs.

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You get your children back from your ex’s house after their visitation and they are openly telling you all about the divorce case, what your ex has called you and where you should go, etc.  You are appalled and upset that your children know anything about your case.  You call your ex and tell them that this is inappropriate to discuss with the children and they completely dismiss you.  You know that the judge clearly said that neither you nor your ex could discuss anything about the case with your children.

While the damage has already been done with your children with what they have overheard or discussed so far with your ex, there are some helpful requests that you could make to deter this type of behavior.  For starters, as long as your orders do not contain anything requiring an agreement before enrolling the children in counseling then you should do so.  Having a professional who can meet with the children, give them an outlet for their emotions as to the divorce, and help them process the effects of the divorce is such a positive movement forward when this type of situation arises.  If the professional meets with you and discusses any concerns with respect to what they are reporting about your ex, then their testimony can be used in a court hearing.

Additionally, if you do decide to pursue a contempt hearing against your ex for violating a court order (discussing the case with the children and making disparaging remarks about you), then you will need proof of such.  If your children are 10 or older most judges will talk with them and the children can tell the judge themselves what they have overheard or what they have been told.  If your children are too young or are too afraid to be put in the middle, then this would be where a professional’s testimony would be helpful.

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You brought some property into your marriage, accumulated some property along the way, and now you are facing a divorce.  You need advice about what is really yours, hers, and in between.  You are not alone to have commingled property—many people have concerns about property and what ultimately happens to it, especially if it is a house or some other large asset.

Many people get confused and think that whatever is in their name is their property and same goes for their spouse.  Unfortunately, that is not how it works in Texas.  We are a community property state and the character or nature of the property depends upon its inception of title—when did you acquire that piece of property.  Community property is anything acquired during marriage, no matter whose name it is in.  Separate property is anything acquired prior to marriage or by gift, devise or descent during marriage.  Therefore, if you bought your home prior to marriage then it is your separate property.

But, now you are concerned because you deeded the home to both of your names after you were married.  However, that is not enough to convert separate property into community property under Texas Family Code Section 4.202.  In fact, subsection (a) states that you must have an agreement to convert separate into community property and that agreement must “(1) be in writing; be signed by the spouses; identify the property being converted; and specify that the property is being converted from separate property into the spouses’ community property; (2) and it is enforceable without consideration.”

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Many people avoid getting divorces because they cannot afford to do so.  They know that they depend upon the other spouse’s income in order to continue paying the bills.  You are not alone in wondering how you will be able to afford everything during and after your divorce.  You know you cannot stay married and you know you need financial assistance at least with some of the bills.

Fortunately, Texas does allow for temporary spousal support while your divorce case is pending.  During initial consults with clients, the question always arises on income, who is going to stay in the marital residence, and if financial assistance is needed.  If it is, then clients will complete a financial information sheet for temporary orders hearing purposes which will be filed.  This allows the judge to see your income and expenses, your spouse’s income and expenses, and any expenses associated with the child.  It is basically a breakdown of your household monthly income and expenses so that the judge can determine whether or not you truly have a need and if your spouse has enough income to make up for the deficit.  In most cases, and especially if the spouse has already been doing so, the court will order the spouse to continue paying the bills that they have already been paying after separation and prior to the court date.  For instance, if your spouse has already moved out of the home but they have continued to pay the mortgage after moving out, then we would ask the court to maintain that status quo while the case is pending.

Additionally, if you have a child and you are awarded the exclusive right to designate the primary residence of the child then the other parent will most likely be paying child support.  This is additional assistance for you. If it is only one child, it would be 20% of the other parent’s monthly net resources.  The percentage goes up with the number of children.

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You have final orders in your custody case and you have the exclusive right to designate the primary residence of the child.  The problem is that this right is subject to a geographical restriction (ex. Dallas County and contiguous counties, Kaufman County and contiguous counties, etc.) and therefore it puts a restriction on you and where you can live.  You currently had a meeting with your boss and they want to relocate you or you have found better employment opportunities out of state.  You know that this would be really good for your family, but you feel as though your hands are tied because of this geographic restriction.

However, you may have the opportunity to seek a modification to lift the geographical restriction.  It truly depends upon your situation, the factors that the court will consider, and even the presiding judge.  In fact, this is a difficult decision for courts.  On one hand, you have the public policy of frequent and continuing contact under Texas Family Code Section 153.001(a)(1) which states that “children will have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of the child”.  On the other hand, you have the primary parents who really need this move to better their family.  Therefore, Texas courts struggle with this decision in modifications.  The Texas Supreme Court Lenz v. Lenz does offer guidance with respect to factors that would support relocation.  For instance, the Court and courts after it have examined: the other parent’s lack of interest in the child; prior connections to the new location (do you have family there, have you ever lived there, etc.); and reasons for the move.

Therefore, if you have an opportunity for a job in another state that pays considerably more money, you have familial ties in the state and the job is located near that family, you originally lived in that state, you only moved to Texas for your ex-spouse, your ex-spouse is not exercising their visitation, and you do not have anyone additional in this state to support you then that is definite grounds to discuss a modification.  Additionally, it is helpful if you have a roadmap already planned out that can be explained to the judge.  For example, where you are going to live, where you are going to work, where the child will attend school, and any extracurricular activities for the child.  If you are the parent moving, most likely the court will make you pay all travel expenses for the child to have visitation with the other parent.  Many courts use this order as compensation to the parent who remains in Texas.  Like with many family law issues, this is a decision the courts must take on a case-by-case basis.  As you can see, there are several issues to discuss with your attorney.

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Many people come in and ask our office this question because they have legitimate concerns regarding the other party.  Most importantly, these cases often involve allegations of family violence or there is a pending protective order already in place.  If you are afraid of your ex in any way, you need to notify the proper authorities and your attorney.

Your right to privacy in a suit affecting the parent-child relationship is located within Texas Family Code Section 153.012 which states that the Court has discretionary authority to order your residence information to be deleted from a court order before the order is released to the other parent.  It does not give specific guidelines as to when the Court can order this and it is, as we stated, discretionary in that it states “the court may.”  Therefore, it is important to discuss all reasons why you feel this information should be withheld from the other party.

If you are seeking or have a protective order in place, then Texas Family Code Section 85.007 guides with respect to confidentiality of certain information.  If you have a protective order then you, anyone in your family or household can request that the Court exclude the address and telephone number from the order of: (a) a person protected by the order (it would only state the county where you reside); (b) the employment or business of a person protected by the order; or (c) child-care facility (daycare) or school of child protected by the order.  Once you have made this request, the Court will strike the information and it will be kept for court purposes only.

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You have a final family order, whether it is an order in suit affecting the parent-child relationship, final decree of divorce, etc., and you would like it modified.  You are either the parent receiving child support and you want the amount increased or you are the parent paying child support and you want it decreased.  Or, there has been a change that would require the conservatorship or visitation modified.  It is not an uncommon question and the Texas Family Code does specify particular deadlines and requirements with respect to filing a modification.

For child support, Texas Family Code Section 156.401 states that final orders can be modified if either (a) there has been a material and substantial change in circumstances for a party or the child after the order was entered; or (b) it has been three years since the order was last entered or modified AND the monthly amount either differs by 20% or $100 from the amount that it should be under the child support guidelines.  So, it has been less than three years but something has happened that would require a change in child support then you can seek a modification.  For instance, did the parent paying child support get a new job after your orders were rendered and they are now making more money?  Or, did the obligor lose their job and they are no longer making any money?  Additional instances of material and substantial change in circumstances would also be (a) the obligor parent had another child that they are financially responsible for; (b) health insurance has changed (lost or new premiums); or (c) the children are now living with the obligor parent or another person.

That brings us to modifying orders as to conservatorship and/or possession or access.   If you are seeking to modify the parent who has the exclusive right to designate the primary residence of the child in less than one year from the orders being rendered, Texas Family Code Section 156.102 governs.  If you do so, you must attach an affidavit to your pleadings and the affidavit must allege specific facts that the child’s present environment may endanger the child’s physical health or significantly impair their emotional development.  Not only must these allegations be made, but you also have to prove this.  If you do not have this, you will have to wait more than one year to change who has the exclusive right to designate the child’s primary residence.  If you are modifying in more than a year, your burden is a material and substantial change in circumstances of a party or the child AND it must be in the best interest of the child.  In fact, best interest of the child is the ultimate burden in every family law case.

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Health Insurance for Children in Custody Cases

In a case involving child custody, child support isn’t the only monetary obligation. The law also requires that health insurance be secured for the children. The most common way for this obligation to be fulfilled is for the non-custodial parent to provide health insurance for the child(ren) through the insurance available to them through work. The non-custodial parent can also reimburse the custodial parent monthly if insurance for the children is obtained via the custodial parent’s employment. If neither party has access to health insurance through their employment, the court may order a private health insurance policy to be obtained. It’s also possible in some instances to obtain insurance for the child(ren) through a government program.

The obligation to pay for medical support is an obligation in addition to a child support obligation. The amount you pay for medical support cannot be deducted from the amount of child support owed. And this obligation can be enforced through withholding from earnings just as child support can.

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If you’ve lost your job and need your child support lowered, I can help you through the process. We get many Kaufman county residents in our office with this very same problem, and we have helped many get their child support lowered. I would like to sit down with you and discuss your specific situation, so please call my office at (972) 564-4644 to set up a confidential consultation with me, Brett Talley, your Kaufman County Family Lawyer.

In order to lower child support, a petition to modify child support must be filed with the court. To oversimplify, you can file such a petition if

  1. It has been three years since the previous order, or
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Forney, TX
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315 S Bois D Arc St
Forney, TX 75126
Phone: 972-564-4644Fax: 866-209-9785
Heath, TX
Phone: 972-564-4644
Plano, TX
6010 W Spring Creek Pkwy
Plano, TX 75024

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